Make love not walrus

Have a Crisco Christmas!

Hey, does that ol lady from the Crisco Christmas Hampers ad remind anyone of Matt? It's uncanny!

3 Men and a Stuffascope

There is a weird penis thing called a Stuffascope in our house at the moment. Its shaped like a stethoscope but has a penis where the part you put to someones heart beat usually is.

Its a little scary. Apparently you shove it up your lover and you can listen to what their body sounds like from the inside. I dont really want to hear what anyones bowels sound like from far inside them.

But maybe it has its place in Bawawecra. Who am I to judge. If I had as little to do as Steph and Nick during the day I too might start to wonder what sounds I make in all sorts of parts of my body...but the step of buying a device that amplifies it is not one Im sure I would take...

THE VERDICT IS IN!

The winner: Kate

whitey, ex-swimmer, John Farnham's illegitimate child?

The loser: Emily

shrill, mum, 21?!

SHOCKED BY THE POWER...

Wacra singalong with a good friend. Jeez how we laughed.

Better the devil you know!

Matt & James watch Aus Idol

Go Kate!

Hair - the musical!

Bawawecra celebrate Nick's new hairdo with a meaningless montage - outrageous!

All My Friends Are Getting Married

Something happened yesterday in Bawawecra...Im not exactly sure what it was. But it was something magical. Maybe Christmas came a little early. Maybe Nick came a little early.

When I arrived home I was dumbfounded by the amazing spotless clean shine of Bawawecra. Nick and Steph stood there grinning from ear to ear in all its glory.

'Who did all this' I asked with surprised enthusiasm.
'LOVE DID IT!' they replied in perfect 5ths.

And what a nice job love did too.

Later that night as they watched movies together I rummaged through some boxes in thier rooms. I came across a marriage certificate, THE MARRIAGE OF STEPH AND NICK!! It was dated yesterday. They have officially tied the knot.

Congratulate them my friends. It is a beautiful day in the house.

I also noted that Nick has not has his period in 4 months (i know this cause he becomes a wingy bitch when he is on the blob), could Nick be up the duff!? He is gettin a lot of odd cravings.

More on this as it happens!!!

Jummy Come Home.

Bawawecra needs James. He has been gone for 2 weeks only to return on the weekends. And I think he is gone for 2 weeks more.

Bawawecra is becoming a tip. a pig sty.

And we are all to blame.

With out James there to clean/tell us off/motivate us we are living in our own filth.

I watched as Steph used her own arm to serve us gravy for our chips as as we had no clean plates left. GRAVY ON HER ARM!

I dont know how to solve this. I dont know what to do...we need James.

Wa's secret identity.

After much thought and deliberation I have discovered that our one and only housemate Nick (wa) is in fact Kirsty Alley after she has lost all the weight.

Just look at pictures of him on this blog and note all the loose skin around his face and arms. It has all been stretched out and cant get its elasticity back.

I also noted him staring at a picture of Ted Danson recently, sighing and referring to him as 'the one that got away'.

I cant wait for the celebrity bus tours to stop by our house. I think ill make up some 'Too fat for Kirty Alley' tshirts.

Magic Dirt

There is a tumble weed blowing through bawawecra at the moment. And it is mostly made of Nicks pubes.

NO SNACKING between meals!

Breakfast is SERVED

A Starfish On A String.

Yesterday Nick showed me how to use the Abroller whilst wearing a g-string.

I didnt get any sleep last night.