ba.wa.we.cra

We hope you had the time of your life..

2006-01-24T17:17:00.000+10:30

2006-01-06T15:35:00.000+10:30

It was a house full of jerks anyway.

2005-12-24T19:27:00.000+10:30

B.W.W.C does amazing things to your system

2005-12-23T13:00:00.000+10:30

Wax on, wack off

2005-12-23T12:57:00.000+10:30

What's hot and red and has hives all over? Yep, Scott came over and got bald.

Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen share brain with Wa!

2005-12-22T17:51:00.000+10:30

It's true. Nick photographed up his nostrils and discovered that the Olsen's inhabit his hole-sen. It explains Nick's annorexic ass and his passion for safety glasses. But bohemian chic?! Honey, that aint chic, IT'S JUST A MASSIVE DISGUSTING CARDIGAN. Put them glasses back on, duckface(s). How rude. Have mercy. Stavros. Etc etc.

GENIUS IN THE HOUSE!!!

2005-12-22T09:27:00.000+10:30

which local, blonde, guitar wielding artist/celebrity now has a bachelor of arts (majoring in film studies) with FIRST CLASS HONOURS?
(hint: she lives in bawawecra!)

Who puts the 'Wa' in Bawawecra?

2005-12-21T09:34:00.000+10:30

Recently Nick/Wa posted this comment on our blog about the death of his live journal

" haha - i'm afraid a little piece of my heart died, crushed under the weight of the fat, buck-toothed idiocy of my house"mates". and what use is a journal for one who has been forced to become an emotional robot? "today was another bland and listless day, in which i feared to step outside my room to face the barage of accusations and insults of my erstwhile friends" would become tiresome after a while. tiresome."

it seems he now hates living in Bawawecra.

well i have to words to say to this:

MOVE THE HELL OUT YOU FAT JERK!!!!

but serious folks. have we lost our little wa. 'Bawecra' sounds damn ridiculous.

He left a chocolate egg tied to my door the other day. Its Christmas not easter, the poor retard, but I cherish the thought. It will remain on my door as a symbol of the birth we never shared together...

What about Wa?

2005-12-15T13:24:00.000+10:30

What happened to WA/Nick?

WA's Happenin!?

He deleted his personal live journal. and now there are no witty biting comments from him. has anyone seen him recently? has he been preoccupied with the stuffascope?

WA are you?!

ps nick should change his name to nike. would be much more poingint (how the hell do you spell that?!)

DVD! Its a DYNAMITE!!!

2005-12-13T14:28:00.000+10:30

Oi Oi Oi Oi!

So i got a dvd playa for my birthday from waweccra.

What a nice gift. One we can all enjoy. I have contemplated moving the dvd and the television into my room, as i do own both. but that would destroy nick. or force him to watch his golden girls dvd in my room during the day, which would in turn leave my room covered in spaff (see post below).

So for now it shall remain in the 'common room'. And i shall rule Bawawecra in a constant state of fear that any moment they could be forced to go back to the OMNI DVD PLAYER!!!!*

*the omni dvd player was a pile of shit that ruined our lives almost everyday. it was the cause of stephs drinking problem, nicks spazzuming asshole and jummys horrible shirts.

The Black Hole.

2005-12-13T14:18:00.000+10:30

Somewhere in Nicks room I believe are the following items.

The ends of my jeans
a few of my cds
a towel or two of mine
a few pairs of my jocks
and maybe my long lost red hoodie

and coutless pairs of my socks.

Im not sure if I want them back. Nick was born with a strange form of epilepsy you see. When he masterbates he blacks out and convults wildly. Causing his spaff to go everywhere. and if you believe monica lewinski you cant get spaff out of anything.

Happy birthday jerkface

2005-12-09T19:44:00.000+10:30

Happy birthday to Matt, he's real old and looks alright. Let's swing our fists in unison.

2005-12-06T12:21:00.000+10:30

somebody broke the blog

who wears short shorts...??

2005-12-05T01:35:00.000+10:30

look, let me just clear something up about this jeans caper, ok. i DIDN'T REALISE they were matt's jeans until AFTER i had made them into shorts. and it was a really hot day. i end up doing this every summer, turning all my jeans into shorts and then realising come the cooler weather that i now have no jeans. but that's beside the point. i only figured out they were matt's when i noticed there was no fading on the crotch or the arse. and for fuck sake, they look a hell of a lot better as shorts on me than they did jeans on matt. and you never would have known if some retarded STOOL PIDGEON hadn't opened her giant yap.

also, i'm really sorry, and i love you, and i promise i'll make you a new pair of jeans soon!

Who is... AUSTRALIA'S FATTEST LOSER?!

2005-12-03T12:40:00.000+10:30

L-R:
Nick DeAraougjioieu
Matt Matherson
Stepharoo G
Jumily

Your two favourite reality TV shows combine with your favourite blog as the bawawecra kids embrace a summer of fitness and karaoke.

Nick will start the series with a rendition of 'Physical' by Olivia Newtron-John, followed by Matt singing the Streets' hit 'Fit but don't you know it'. James has bagged 'Some girls are bigger than others' by the Smiths, and Steph will bring up the rear with the Springsteen classic 'Born to run'.

Oh, it's on.

(You can download these songs on the No Through Road download album 'Lo-Carb Sandwich').

Private Dick Busts BAWAWECRA

2005-12-03T10:48:00.001+10:30

Well i guess it had to happen sooner or later. Those of you familiar with the pre-history of Bawawecra would know something of the unsavoury nature of previous tenants. I'd actually forgotten about the horrors we witnessed on that day of our first "viewing" but this morning's events brought it all back.

I answered the door to a serious looking gentleman enquiring after a certain Gxxxx Txxxxxx* whose mail we still get. After me yawning and explaining he doesn't live here anymore i found myself with some kind of Private Investigators badge thrust in my face and a volley of questions about how long I've lived here, who the landlord is, what we do with the ex-tenants mail etc etc

Now more than likely this kid probably just owes $12.86 on his Video Ezy account and that's the end of the story. But I figured I haven't posted in a while and let's face it this is the most exciting thing that has happened in this house since Nick "accidentally" cut up Matt's treasured Levi flares and turned them into hot pants. Now there's a story......

* name supressed

Make love not walrus

2005-11-30T11:27:00.000+10:30

Have a Crisco Christmas!

2005-11-30T11:22:00.000+10:30

Hey, does that ol lady from the Crisco Christmas Hampers ad remind anyone of Matt? It's uncanny!

3 Men and a Stuffascope

2005-11-28T11:24:00.000+10:30

There is a weird penis thing called a Stuffascope in our house at the moment. Its shaped like a stethoscope but has a penis where the part you put to someones heart beat usually is.

Its a little scary. Apparently you shove it up your lover and you can listen to what their body sounds like from the inside. I dont really want to hear what anyones bowels sound like from far inside them.

But maybe it has its place in Bawawecra. Who am I to judge. If I had as little to do as Steph and Nick during the day I too might start to wonder what sounds I make in all sorts of parts of my body...but the step of buying a device that amplifies it is not one Im sure I would take...

THE VERDICT IS IN!

2005-11-22T01:08:00.000+10:30

The winner: Kate

whitey, ex-swimmer, John Farnham's illegitimate child?

2005-11-22T01:02:00.000+10:30

The loser: Emily

shrill, mum, 21?!

SHOCKED BY THE POWER...

2005-11-21T00:51:00.000+10:30

Wacra singalong with a good friend. Jeez how we laughed.

Better the devil you know!

2005-11-21T00:48:00.000+10:30

Matt & James watch Aus Idol

2005-11-21T00:25:00.000+10:30

Go Kate!

Hair - the musical!

2005-11-18T17:18:00.000+10:30

Bawawecra celebrate Nick's new hairdo with a meaningless montage - outrageous!

All My Friends Are Getting Married

2005-11-17T09:54:00.000+10:30

Something happened yesterday in Bawawecra...Im not exactly sure what it was. But it was something magical. Maybe Christmas came a little early. Maybe Nick came a little early.

When I arrived home I was dumbfounded by the amazing spotless clean shine of Bawawecra. Nick and Steph stood there grinning from ear to ear in all its glory.

'Who did all this' I asked with surprised enthusiasm.
'LOVE DID IT!' they replied in perfect 5ths.

And what a nice job love did too.

Later that night as they watched movies together I rummaged through some boxes in thier rooms. I came across a marriage certificate, THE MARRIAGE OF STEPH AND NICK!! It was dated yesterday. They have officially tied the knot.

Congratulate them my friends. It is a beautiful day in the house.

I also noted that Nick has not has his period in 4 months (i know this cause he becomes a wingy bitch when he is on the blob), could Nick be up the duff!? He is gettin a lot of odd cravings.

More on this as it happens!!!

Jummy Come Home.

2005-11-16T11:30:00.000+10:30

Bawawecra needs James. He has been gone for 2 weeks only to return on the weekends. And I think he is gone for 2 weeks more.

Bawawecra is becoming a tip. a pig sty.

And we are all to blame.

With out James there to clean/tell us off/motivate us we are living in our own filth.

I watched as Steph used her own arm to serve us gravy for our chips as as we had no clean plates left. GRAVY ON HER ARM!

I dont know how to solve this. I dont know what to do...we need James.

Wa's secret identity.

2005-11-11T10:57:00.000+10:30

After much thought and deliberation I have discovered that our one and only housemate Nick (wa) is in fact Kirsty Alley after she has lost all the weight.

Just look at pictures of him on this blog and note all the loose skin around his face and arms. It has all been stretched out and cant get its elasticity back.

I also noted him staring at a picture of Ted Danson recently, sighing and referring to him as 'the one that got away'.

I cant wait for the celebrity bus tours to stop by our house. I think ill make up some 'Too fat for Kirty Alley' tshirts.

Magic Dirt

2005-11-08T13:47:00.000+10:30

There is a tumble weed blowing through bawawecra at the moment. And it is mostly made of Nicks pubes.

NO SNACKING between meals!

2005-11-04T11:53:00.000+10:30

Breakfast is SERVED

2005-11-03T20:46:00.000+10:30

A Starfish On A String.

2005-11-01T10:51:00.000+10:30

Yesterday Nick showed me how to use the Abroller whilst wearing a g-string.

I didnt get any sleep last night.

Dreams

2005-10-26T09:43:00.000+09:30

Yeah I had a crazy dream last night. It was some sort of argument about psychoanalysis (I've gone thesis mad) between two people I can't remember and they just started wailing, like 'weeeaaaaaauuuuuuuuuugggghhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeaaaaa etc' and then suddenly it was so loud I was getting a headache, and then suddenly they were cats, and then suddenly there were cats outside my window and I was semi-awake. Then suddenly it was really really annoying and they sounded like idiots. It didn't sound like cats fighting or meowing, just... wailing. Aw man, i don't know much about cats, but they didn't go away when i slammed my window shut or flicked the outside lights a bit. Now my eyes are all puffy and my ears extremely sensitive to Matt's whiny voice. 'weeeaaaaaauuuuuuuuuugggghhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeaaaaa etc'

sugar rush.

2005-10-25T11:29:00.000+09:30

i ate too much candy in bawawecra last night. well i had a few bits of candy and then drank a lot of mango tang.

made me a little excitable. when nick came home i got excited and hoped he would be more 'up'. he seemed tired.

i went to bed and had crazy dreams about nick, steph and james pouring syrup on me. the syrup tasted like coconut and asparagus.

Nurse Nick and Saint Steph

2005-10-24T13:53:00.000+09:30

last week I was very sick in Bawawecra.

I discovered these things.

Steph is a great nurse. she will do anything you ask of her. and not complain, and check on you.

Nick is a horrible nurse. he will make you feel like a slob because you cant move. My arm was really saw and I asked him to make a sling for me. he was like 'yeah ill make you a sling'

then he grabbed my extremely saw arm and tried shoving it into the bottom of my tshirt. causeing great pain and no sign of anything that looked like a sling. what a gag.

the irony of it all is that nick is studying to be a nurse. steph is studying to be some sort of arty type. go figure.

I just pray to god i dont get some death illness and wind up in nicks ward in hospital. it will play out something like this:

'nurse i am very hungry and weak. can i have some soup?' - me
'why of course'- nick
nick then picks up a bowl or piping hot soup and pours it on my crotch. as i lay screaming and cripled he will slap me in the face repeatedly and shout 'GET YOUR OWN FUKING SOUP YOU USELESS SLOB, WHAT AM I MADE OF HELPFULLNESS!?!?!'

what a horrible way to die.

james is gone away for a week again. that is all.

Happy Birthday DUDE!

2005-10-18T18:41:00.000+09:30

What you talkin bout Matt?

2005-10-12T14:06:00.000+09:30

Don't you remember this photo from August of the Bawawecra archives, Matt? I AM black.

And ripped.

Anyhoo, I'm not sure what say you have in house matters, Matt, seeing as lately this house has been known only as 'WACRA', what with your work, parties, the ladies, and James being out in some swamp. Today Nick and I built a cubby-house out of Cheerios in James' room. Then Nick rubbed his pubes all over them and I vomited.

Also, I ate some of your cold medicine because I am sick. Help your self to my tuna and crackers in return.

Death?

2005-10-11T14:03:00.000+09:30

Is Bawawecra dead? I mean I still live there....but is it dead?

Discuss.

What you talking bout, Steph?

2005-10-10T14:06:00.000+09:30

Today I was thinking about Bawawecra and how it fits into the world. Then suddenly I realised 'IT DOESNT FIT AT ALL!@@@!!!'

We live in a world rich with cultural differences, and at Bawawecra we are all plain old Anglo whiteys!

Sure we have the occasional pop round from old 'Ethno Tony' but the magority of the time the house is full of horrible pale skinned whiteys.

I have decided to take it upon myself to change this. And have decided that it must be Steph who becomes our token 'darker skinned person'. And so tonight while she sleeps I will rub tanning lotion into her pale pasty skin. Mostly concentrating on the face. I will put on 3 times the recommended dose as we need to get this bitch black asap.

Once we have achieved cultural diversity in the house im sure our readership will jump dramatically. Everyone likes token non whiteys. Just look at how popular the Bloc Party are.

ps. if this post pissed you off, then you are probably unattractive.

Comments

2005-10-08T18:51:00.000+09:30

I'm sick of those fucking robo-comments so I've put on some kind word verification test on the comments section of the blog. Hope you guys can figure it out.

Oh and I'm fine, thanks for asking.

That is all.

Matt be a lady tonight

2005-10-08T17:53:00.000+09:30

WHAT IS HAPPENING??

Holiday

2005-10-08T17:31:00.000+09:30

NO SMOKING!!!

2005-10-04T14:14:00.000+09:30

So there has been a move in the house to quit smoking. Jummy has stopped and now only has the occasional 'social' smoke. Nick claims to have quit 2 days ago due to poverty. Steph rarely smokes and when she does its only to take the taste of spew out of her mouth...

what is left for me to do?

As the heaviest smoker therefore coolest member of the house, I see 2 options. Quit now and become the coolest non smoker there, or smoke even more than I used to.

I got a really sore throat today so maybe I should quit...but then can I really let Bawawecra become a house of non smoking jerks?! I mean we already have a Vegan and a Girl living there. How much more Hippy can we be?!

I need to make a move and fast.

Bawawecra: a life in pictures

2005-10-02T18:48:00.000+09:30

The boys break into song. Rock it lads! Matt and James warm up for a night on thetown with honorary housemate, Antony. He brings us booze when we're too dry.

2005-10-02T18:46:00.000+09:30

I think they're playing a love song.

2005-10-02T18:45:00.000+09:30

James nose best!

2005-10-02T18:43:00.000+09:30

Sweet (and sour) dreams!

2005-10-02T18:39:00.000+09:30

Strike a pose, jerk!

2005-10-02T18:19:00.000+09:30

Don't look at me!

Sprinkling/spring clean!

2005-09-28T23:21:00.000+09:30

Hello. Nick has suggested that we spring clean his room when he's finished placement. I'm so excited. Imagine all the floor space, all the disinfectant. I suggest we get him some giant baskets or tubs and label them 'pants', 'undies', 'tops', 'vomit', 'unmentionables' and 'spafffff rags'. Things are looking up at bawawecra, and it's about time, i'm running out of air freshna'. God I'm a bitch. And you're a sandal.

SOME PEOPLE REALLY NEED IT!

2005-09-28T13:16:00.000+09:30

hey dudes

i need the money for the gas bill....ahahahahhahaaaaaa

no seriously folks. im broke and i need it.

nick and steph you owe me $39
jummy its $26 for you

couch up laughin boys.

that is all.

Shit pixie performs emergency Csection on bouncing brown baby boy

2005-09-27T23:52:00.000+09:30

So i got up yesturday and there was this big sticky shit in the toilet. At first I thought it was Nick, getting some sort of revenge (even though it wasn't me who left the pebbles the other day). But y'know what? That thing was weird, and Nick claims it wasn't him. I'm starting to see some sense in this pixie's work. The poo itself had kind of gotten stuck on the side of the bowl, like a slinky, it was half folded back into the water. When I flushed, the slicky bowl sucking bits remained. I think we need a new scrubbing brush. And maybe some more vegetables in our diets.

Also, we've been doing some marathon Sex and the City watching, and there have been tears all around. Wimps!

Maybe Wa should wash his sheets.

2005-09-27T09:29:00.000+09:30

This morning on my way to work I walked passed Nick's room and noticed the light was on. This is not an unusual event.

As I reached into the room to turn it off I saw on the centre of his bed a toilet roll. One that had been used.

I can only draw from this evidence that Nick has taken to shitting in his room. I didnt even have to do it as a practical joke, he does it himself. Maybe he thinks his room is so messy that it doesnt matter if he has a little late night dump in there.

Oh well at least he wipes his arse after he does it.

2005-09-22T17:31:00.000+09:30

pixie break-in?

2005-09-22T15:56:00.000+09:30

i just got home from "placement" and the door was wide open, nobody home, and a fresh pebbly poo floating in the toilet. cree-py!

maybe YOU should wash my bedsheets...

2005-09-19T15:05:00.000+09:30

bawawecra has turned into a stinky prison, walled on each side by apathy, rain, chickens and a chest infection. i got up at 5.30 to go to "placement" this morning, and then thought "why should i?". so here i am. the beautiful canary in his gilded cage. the stains on my quilt are laughing at me, singing dirty songs. i MADE you stains.
this house needs to be purified...

James and the giant peachface

2005-09-18T22:25:00.000+09:30

Here's your stinkin picture

2005-09-18T19:31:00.000+09:30

Pics?

2005-09-16T13:42:00.000+09:30

Why aint there any pics on our blog for ages!?

What IS STEPH DOING!!!

To whom it may concern

2005-09-15T15:06:00.000+09:30

No use concealing it now, I have discovered your secret stash - of instant coffee all over the kitchen floor! And don't think I'm not aware of your other little caffeine hideaway - under the microwave! What a pleasant smelling sticky brown suprise! My hospital grade disinfectant got the workout of its life, and my fingertips are like sundried tomatoes. You are now top of my three least favourite people in bawawecra, and the bottom of my favourite, with your brown goo.

And don't think mama don't see you too, with your hateful words of couch hating. What are you complaining about?! The stinky 'pink' one is outside, where you spend most of your time anyway. Don't shit a gifthorse in the mouth.

Also, James, your hair was really tall today. Work on it.

ps. I was knitting a barf bag, but we can share.

Oh, do i feel like the mother of the world.

2005-09-15T13:37:00.000+09:30

Steph is the mother of the House. There is no doubt about it. Without her we would be a MESS!

She has more cleaning products than I have ever seen in my life. I think she actually has more under her bed but i darent not look. She is constantly spraying our odors away and tidying up after all of us.

She does yell at us too, but we dont really care cause she is our mother and she has to love us no matter what we do. I know even when she is screaming 'THERE IS BACON IN THE HOUSE!!!' that she is not truly angry...only temporarily blinded with love.

The other night I walked past her room and heard a faint clicking sound. I assume she is knitting us all jumpers with our names on them. Bless.

In other news I plan to do a shit and hide it somewhere in Nicks room. I predict that it will be roughly 2 months before he finds it. I will have forgotten all about doing it by then so can even take a polygraph test to deny it. And i can laugh it up. The crime is perfect and victumless...except for Nick of course who has to live with a shit in his room for 2 months. Poor guy. Oh well.

Couch from Hell.

2005-09-13T15:58:00.000+09:30

bawawecra has has a remodel. We now have works of art hanging on the wall, a new outside table and a couch.

I am hereby announcing that I will never again sit on that couch as it is the most uncomfortable couch ever made. The other members of the house love it, probably because they all have mis-shaped arses.

In other news I hate them.

Nanananananana LEADER

2005-09-12T17:56:00.000+09:30

So Matt thinks he's the main character of the house eh? I guess that would make him Buffy:

Matt: Buffy - 'main character', bossy, dumb, addicted to vampire lovin, has sister who was once a key

James: Giles - pompous and bookish, handsome in a nerdy old way, tries to sing, tall, wears glasses when inflecting itelligence

Nick: Willow- gay, tragic pants, upbeat, dated a wolf, likes a computer, loves Tara, addicted to magic, witchy

Steph: Xander - loveable heart of the operation, always getting up to mischief, softening morbidity with much needed comic relief.

Woman

2005-09-12T17:43:00.000+09:30

I try my darndest to be the ladylike, nurturing feminine being of Bawawecra - to be the girl of the house, because that is what I am (contrary to popular belief that James is a sissygirl). And yet I dress up, put on a little makeup, curl my hairs, show a little ankle, and all I get from them beastly men is 'cor, I love a tomboy with big tits'. Bawawecra stop bringing me down. It makes me want to faint in a hyerfeminine scene of domestic imprisonment. Get them smelling salts. Someone fan me. NOW JERK.

Living with Ba.

2005-09-12T13:47:00.000+09:30

So apparently a lot of people have been asking the other Bawawecra-ians this question:

"What's it like to live with Matt"

They all use and excitable tone wanting to get a look into my life. You see fans, outside of Bawawecra I am a very important/infamous person. I wont go into it but let me put it this way, If all of Bawawecra died in some freak accident no doubt caused by one of Steph's hairbrianed schemes, Only I would appear on the front cover of the Advertiser. The rest would be back on page 56 or something, right after Andrew Jarmen's 'Kojak impression of the day'.

Anyway, what is it like to live with Matt, you ask? Well I cant answer for the others without sounding like too much of a wanker but I can hazard a guess, Here are some very probable testimonials from the other members of the house:

Steph - "Living with Matt is a dream come true. For years I have admired him from afar wanting to know him. His amazing charm and wit dazzled me and I found myself hanging on his every word. AND NOW I LIVE WITH HIM. I wait patiently for him to get home from work everyday to hear of his latest adventures and run-ins with the 'local pigs', as he refers to them so eloquently. I really don't know what I would do in the house without him. I'D GO NUTS!!!"

Nick - "Id always thought of myself as a bit of a funny guy, you know 'the Joker'. But that was until I lived with Matt. My god I never knew such laughter, I find myself waiting for his comical take on everything knowing that a fantastic spin is coming...But the beautiful thing about Matt is that he also has a sensitive side. I can talk to him about anything and I mean ANYTHING. He always knows exactly what I should do. My life is finally on the right track towards success and well-being"

James - "Normally I would resent a man like Matt, I am used to being the pretty boy, but living with Matt I have had to live in his constant shadow of Beauty. He is like a Sun burning through my comparative Ugliness...I said normally I would hate a man like that, but unfortunately I have a huge man-crush on him. I hang out in the dining room while he showers to catch a glimpse of him in his towel. One time I even busted in on him and he had only just enough time to cover himself with a towel. I tell you I almost died of erections that day. Sometimes he calls me 'Champ' and I quiver. Living with Matt is awesome but Im not sure how long my loins can take it for."

Well there you have it. Those chumps really like me. And I in turn like them too...later Champ.

Darling we're the Young Ones

2005-09-08T13:49:00.000+09:30

I tried to go to bed early last night cause I was feeling a bit shit. Got a head cold you see.

But alas it is impossible to get to sleep early in our 'beloved' Bawawecra. I dont know what the hell was goin on outside my bedroom but it was clamorous....

Here is what I think happened:

Nick was watching buffy while eating beans...Steph walked into the room and started telling Nick about her day just as Buffy was about to do something really interesting (a rare event) and Nick overreacted.

'SHUTTUP YOU HIDEOUS BITCH!!!' he shouted throwing his beans everywhere,
'NOW LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE!!!'

suddenly James, who was hiding behind the couch at the time, pops his head up and says, 'I hope youre gonna wash that bowl now Nick'

'I WILL NEVER WASH UUUUUUUUP!!!' nick screams as he throws the bowl across the room smashing it to pieces.

Steph unfased by this all is still talking about her day, hears the smashing bowl sound and suddenly realises that she hasnt broken her 10 glasses for the day. She bolts to the kitchen and smashes everything insight...

no wonder i couldnt sleep.

also i have realised that Bawawecra is like the Young Ones

James = Rick
Nick = Vivian
Steph = Neil (is that his name, you know the boring one that no one pays attention to)
Matt = Mike.

later fans!

Sloppy neck.

2005-09-07T13:44:00.000+09:30

Nicks (wa)birthday is coming soon, and boy is he gonna be old. As the oldest member of the house you would think he would be the most together of the lot...but apparently age just makes your like more of a shambles as is represented in the skin underneath Nick's chin.

Anyway he has been dropping lots of hints about having a party, but then pretends he dont want one. I think he is hoping we will suprise him.

He also now thinks he is a 'Giant' and will die really young. I suppose to him his body looks really big, but thats just cause the only thing he has to compare it to is his dick. Which is hideously small.

OH MY! I KNOW WHAT TO GET HIM FOR HIS BIRTHDAY NOW!!

Whatever hapened to vitamin C?

2005-09-07T11:34:00.000+09:30

alarms are funny!

2005-09-07T10:22:00.000+09:30

alright, so who snuck in this morning and set the alarm on my mobile phone? and i know it wasn't steph, 'cause she was flat on her back in her room, stewing in the 2-minute noodle farts she must have been doing all night. so i'm guessing it was some sort of "small dick alliance" prank. "oh, he sleeps in sooo much doesnt he small dick 1" "yes he does small dick 2, let's teach him a lesson". well, guess who's gonna pay for their little giggle-fest with getting their faces punched in. and i was awake anyway you jerks.
and just for the record, i work at NIGHT. and i (theoretically) study during the day. so i'm allowed to sleep in as much as i want, and you can stop damn well resenting it right about... NOW.
EDIT: sorry guys, you don't have small dicks. you have GREAT dicks. i was just angry. and i think maybe i might have set the alarm myself...

toga

2005-09-07T09:05:00.000+09:30

Not long ago Matt and I were watching National Lampoon's Animal House starring John Belushi. Matt is steadily amassing a collection of "screwball" 80s comedy DVDs which I presume he uses to inspire his obnoxious behaviour and "humour". Anyway, there's a great scene in that movie where the nerd fraternity have this enormous toga party and become kings of the college - watching it, almost simultaneously Matt and I turned to each other and blurted "Bawawecra should have a toga party!" - much overexcited hugging and dancing around the loungeroom ensued.

So it seems Matt is prettty excited by this idea - yesterday morning I walked into the bathroom to get my toothbrush to find him arranging his mingy blue towel across his torso like a toga, puffing himself up in the mirror and intoning latin proverbs under his breath. Or something. I think this means we should have our toga party sooner rather than later.

PREDICTIONS:

- Nick will find some way to make a toga out of fishnet material....or spaff rags.
- Steph will still be crippled and hobble about in her bedsheet like some hilariously freshfaced crone.
- Matt will get so drunk that he drops his guard leading to the toga-dacking of a lifetime, probably care of Nick and/or Kynan. He will be wearing pink underwear.

Ain't no hollaback Jummy

2005-09-06T23:36:00.000+09:30

Here are ways I could have hurt my back: trying to hang picture hooks on the rails with a brookm stick, cleaning the kitchen, repairing the like-new leather foot stool I found during hard-rubbish, looking for the attachment to my bicycle pump, washing the disgusting bathmats.

The result was excruciating pain when i stood up straight, hence, I had to shuffle around with my left foot forward and my body tilted backward. Jerks, don't tease a cripple. Tomorrow you might have to break the bathroom door down and drag me spasming out of the bath.

Speaking of jerks, Matt and James have starting this endearing thing of calling each other, and everything 'Jummy'. They think it's cute. Suddenly it is the lyric to everysong, and the punchline of every 'joke'. Shutit.

STAY OUT OF THE FRIDGE TONY!

2005-09-06T13:54:00.000+09:30

Last night ol Clam Clam Clameroo did something to her back. Not sure what she did but it involved a foot stool that she found on the side of the road and thought it would be 'really lovely' in our house. I know I love festy torn up shit in my house...dont you?

So anyway she was hobbling round the house all night trying to get sympathy from us boys. I was having none of it. I honestly couldnt stop giggling cause she looked ridiculous.

My guess is she actually hurt her back trying to carry some other urine stained item into our house that was even heavier. Poor Steph tho, she must be struggling financially to have to resort to this kind of crap. Maybe I should lend her a couple bucks. That would be the nice thing to do.

Nick has been doing essays and dry-humping everything in sight. I wish James would just fuck him already, its been on the cards for at least two weeks. He is a damn prick tease and poor Nick is the most teased prick in the house.

We should make mention of Antony here, he comes over a lot. Stinks up the place, but we somehow love his 'company'...

Also the other night all of Bawawecra went to a party. I didnt. So there. hehe.

dr jekyll and mr hide your face

2005-08-31T22:07:00.000+09:30

i bumped into nick in the middle of the night. 'get away from me', he said, 'i'm hideous'. 'amen', i said. it's tough between botoxes.

Henry, Guy & 'capriciosa' - always welcome at BWWC

2005-08-30T15:13:00.000+09:30

Think these boys been shopping at the same DIRTY store!

Mole

2005-08-29T22:59:00.000+09:30

I started watching the Mole, I thought it might provide inspiration for the 'Molesseum' sculpture Nick and I are planning on making(like the Colosseum but full of slags), and was dissapointed. There were a couple of moley ones, but not as good as on Neighbours.

I think I might change my bloggey name. Someone came up and said 'hi Stepharoo' at the exeter the other day - was I meant to know him? 'Cra' reminds me of some toe-scum, and 'Steph' might get confused with the character from Full House (not Bob Saget).

How rude.

2005-08-29T12:44:00.000+09:30

well, what a lovely weekend. beautiful weather, charming houseguests - who could ask for more?
i woke up this "morning", only 5 hours after my alarm went off, to find a very sweet (or perhaps inhumanly sarcastic?) note from henry in which he declared bawawecra to be "the best share house ever, in my humble opinion". and let me tell you, that more than makes up for the lies about a phonecall from nick carter, and the wanking all over the shower screen incident.
hope you boys come back this way again soon!

INJUSTICE!

2005-08-25T11:22:00.000+09:30

James is sick. So right now Bawawecra is occupied by all members of the house except for me. I can just see them now, all laughing about how good it is to be home. I bet they are going through all my stuff. Im sure ill come home to at least 1 soiled item of clothing.

JERKS! the lot of them. I bet they dont even really appreciate being home. I bet they are 'bored'. god they disgust me. Always looking for the quick fix, never puttin in the time to really appreciate anything.

Our house is a micro-cosm for the world at large.

James = France due to being all fancy with his books etc.
Steph = America due to her in your face style of holding glasses
Nick = Uruguay for obvious reasons.

House Guests...

2005-08-24T14:08:00.000+09:30

This weekend Bawawecra will have 2 house guests. What will happen to the dynamic of the house? I predict these changes:

Steph will no longer feel comfortable to throw up in the kitchen and will take to spewing in the backyard by the clothesline, causing james to be very angry cause he uses the clothesline as his wardrobe.

Nick will respond to the people entering his personal space by being even louder and more demanding. He will walk around the house pissing in corners marking his territory. He is then likely to bury his vegan hotdogs in the garden somewhere and soon forget where the hell they are...Causing him to scream at everything.

James will more than likely woo our new houseguests. He will cook them a nice dinner and buy them fancy wines. When they turn his offer of romance down he will then demand that they clean up Nicks piss, which will in turn cause Nick to piss in more, less obvious, places.

I will be in the middle of the storm, calm, reserved, and attractive. As I always am.

MYSTERY SHAPE II EXPOSED....

2005-08-24T11:33:00.000+09:30

That's right it was a pear stalk. Jerks. Meanwhile, Nick is on an 'eat everything off skewer diet'. NOT WORKING HONEY.

New 'Mystery Shape'

2005-08-23T16:06:00.000+09:30

Guess what? (this is)

MYSTERY SHAPE REVEALED...

2005-08-23T09:43:00.000+09:30

It is a gigantic nostil, belonging neither in the front or back portion of pants as you all seemed to guess. Oh the trickery! Meanwhile in the narrative of the image, it seems James is making me vomit, or something.

The Greatest.

2005-08-22T14:36:00.000+09:30

Its become painfully obvious that Bawawecra is the best blog on the internet. Nothing can come close to this. Why bother trying.

The reason?

The good times had at the house and the fact that all 4 of us are damn interesting people. I mean could there be a better sharehouse? I think not.

We will continue to be amazing. Just look at the photos of our recent party. Were you there? Dont you wish you were....

a late night "semillon"

2005-08-22T13:12:00.000+09:30

i had a bit of a tiring weekend so last night i went to bed at about 8 o' clock.

I woke up from strange dreams at what I though was the middle of the night, with a parched mouth. thinking no one would be up I wandered out into the hall wearing nothing but a small-ish red t-shirt. through my bleary eyes i made out the microwave clock - it was only just past midnight! and had i noticed Nick's light on as I walked past his room?? my pulse quickened, with the corresponding increase in blood pressure! (you know what I'm talking about lads!)

sure enough I heard Nick's door open. like a bloodhound he had picked up the scent of my nakedness! it was all I could do to try and pull down the t-shirt over my privates and scurry off into the toilet blurting "watch out I'm naked!"

"you shoulda called me!" I heard him bellow, before returning to his room.

i snuck back out and as a precaution poured myself a big glass of water to guard my modesty. water can have a magnifying effect you know.... i studied science!

Stuart's party guests

2005-08-22T12:32:00.000+09:30

Third attempt to make this pcture link work when you click on it. Check out James, top right, Frankenstein

BWWC abort Hot or Not segment...

2005-08-21T22:36:00.000+09:30

Bawawecra abort Hot or Not segment due to poor ratings. It is to be replaced with 'MYSTERY SHAPE!'

Guess what this closeup is of, the regular scale image will be revealed soon. Prizes of a dirty ashtray/plastic bag to the most accurate guess! Yes!

Birthday Boy

2005-08-21T22:33:00.000+09:30

Happy birthday, Clownman, from all of us here at Bawawecra.

Debbie does... Jess & Corinna!

2005-08-21T22:30:00.000+09:30

Even mermen get the blues

2005-08-21T22:28:00.000+09:30

Hit the Jackpot (and 'fan')

2005-08-21T22:26:00.000+09:30

The 'gang'

2005-08-21T22:23:00.000+09:30

Carpet Nick

2005-08-21T22:21:00.000+09:30

Nick rolled himself up in carpet, like a disgusting mermaid

2005-08-21T22:18:00.000+09:30

2005-08-21T21:22:00.000+09:30

there was a party at bawawecra. now i stink, and i have bruises everywhere. and the door is broken.
why did evan jump through the hole in the door?
why am i on the floor in all the photos from the party?
i woke up in my undies and jumper and thought "oh wow, i was together enough when i passed out to take my pants off!" then steph showed me the photos, and i realised i didnt have pants on for half the night.
but all good clean fun!
except maybe that photo of my dick that looks like a sweaty poo. i might try to get that back off seb.

2005-08-18T14:01:00.000+09:30

Well the WE returned last night. His skin was brown, his hair was crusty and his fingernails contained some sort of primordial scum...but underneath it all was our beloved Jimmy.

He had many a story to tell and he amused us with them late into the night. When he asked what the house had been doing we all paused and said in unison... 'MISSING YOU!'

Bawawecra is whole again. Never leave again James.

Lookalikes

2005-08-16T18:00:00.000+09:30

Stevie says Michelle looks just like Gollum. That's way harsh man, although their voices are strikingly similar.

Lookalikes

2005-08-16T17:57:00.000+09:30

Michelle suggests Heath from Big Brother and James are the same person. Both got voted out of that house - ZING!

Rise and Whine!

2005-08-16T14:12:00.000+09:30

This morn I got up to have my 8am shower. I ALWAYS shower at 8. Thats my routine. When I went to the bathroom someone was in there. SHOWERING! I soon deduced from the trail of shit leading from his ass to his bedroom that it was in fact Nick in the shower...

'ok ill give him 5 minutes' i thought to myself,

10 minutes later I knocked on the door.

'Nick hurry up ill be late for work'
Nick opened the door to reveal his bear chest.
'Come on in' he said with an ugly tone that implied that he was gonna shit on my dick as soon as I took my pants off.

'No get out, I need to shower' I said.
'WHAT YOU CANT SHOWER IN FRONT OF ME!?' he screamed like some sort of banshee that had just been told to get out of the bathroom.

He shoved past me, his stink making my eyes water,
'YOURE A FUKING JERK! CANT YOU SEE IVE LOST MY WALLET!' he proclaimed.

I bet he lost it up his fat ass.

I'm popular

2005-08-15T23:31:00.000+09:30

Hello again. So today I checked my blogger contributor profile and it informed me I've had 75 'views', from fans of ye olde bawawecra I guess. Finally a chance to rank myself in popularity stakes against my peers. Here are the results of blogger 'profile views':

Matt - 233
Steph - 75
Jimmy - 75
Nick - 32

I think this will tell us that Matt checks his own profile at least twice a day, James and I are equally as middle-of-the-road, and Nick is either a social bakedbean or is so well known no one need check his stats. Hey, how's about you all go check my contributors profile now, huh? I'm Rooster by year, rooster by nature... I don't even know what that means.

HOT or NOT - Vote now!

2005-08-15T23:10:00.000+09:30

Matt/Ba
Hot or Not?! Score out of 10...

HOT or NOT - Vote now!

2005-08-15T23:08:00.000+09:30

James/ We
Hot or Not?! Score out of 10...